There is a senator from the Aberdare ecosystem whose personal presentation is an assault on the notion of civilised appearance.
If one were to commission a sculptor to carve a likeness of “utter neglect”, say, from a piece of Kisii soapstone, the resulting carving would certainly appear way more appealing to the eye than the image of that bearded jackass.
Worse yet, the shaggy-man’s forked tongue has no equal in the entire community of serpents in Nyandarua County and its neighbourhoods.
To begin with, the senator’s dress code is disaster incarnate. He drapes himself in a manner that readily confirms to all and sundry that he is a certified artefact from the earliest era of nature’s geological time scale.
Where he harvested the idea that his mode of dressing grants him a political spark, only a fallen angel can tell!
But the clothing is just a prelude.
The true spectacle is the self-styled Nyandarua Stone Age remnant himself. His hair rests on his head like an abandoned thatch roof thoroughly ravaged by a hostile El-Niño event.
His canopy looks hopelessly untamed, and utterly indifferent to human intervention. Taking a cue from the scandalmonger senator’s appearance he seems to be gunning for a world record in a shaggy beard world contest.
At the rate he is going, chances are that he will clinch the prize before he loses his seat in 2027.
The ding-a-ling senator’s primitive mind-set completes the unholy trinity perfectly. He approaches complex matters of national importance with the mental attitude of a sheep covered with excessive wool on the face and right inside his head too.
In the Senate chambers the man’s sonorous voice sounds more like the bleating of a strangled billy goat.
The slovenly senator’s rudimentary sense of humour rings so hollow yet he seems to believe that his strange buffoonery will one day yield something worthwhile for the people of Nyandarua.
So far he has nothing to show for the period he has been in Bunge. Where and when on earth has clownery ever registered meaningful progress for any society!
But wait a minute… Do the theatrics of the senator not reflect the default lingo of Kenya’s foremost political circus master and ethnic hate monger of the millennium?
For now, Kenya’s political jester-in-chief in Senate remains the most despicable troglodyte of Nyandarua, and a man who has elevated scruffiness to a form of art.
The varmint, it may seem, would not have any qualms at all gobbling a grown raw guinea fowl menacingly without de-feathering it at all.
He is, no doubt, less of a senator but more of a warning of what no human being should ever aspire to become.
